Fortune And Glory, Kid

January 18, 2010

Darksiders: Why You Should Go Buy It.

Filed under: Rant, Reviews, Uncategorized, videogames — Tags: , , , — feenwager @ 8:09 pm

This isn’t going to be a traditional review of Darksiders, plenty of other people have done that already and they all pretty much agree, it’s a really good game. I just finished it today and I can say it’s very well made, and I’ve enjoyed the crap out of it. Yes, it borrows from every other game you can imagine, but so what? Star Wars was practically a Chinese menu of other movies (a little Kurosawa from Column A, a little Flash Gordon from Column B), and we all know that worked out pretty well, didn’t it?

I've got stuff from about eight different games in here. You'd need a fire breathing horse to tote it all around, too.

The real reason you should plunk your dinero down to purchase Darksiders is because it’s a real game from a new developer, and God knows we need to support them.

Think about it for a second. We’ve all read the stories about the amount of layoffs across the videogame industry in 2009. One thing I can guarantee you is that these layoffs will not staunch the flow of Carnival Games, iPhone games, and licensed garbage being shoveled onto the Wii. What is far less likely is that the next Dead Space will get the eight figure budget it needs to get off the ground. That’s where companies like Vigil Games become so important. Joe Madureria formed Vigil because he has a passion for games, and because he had made a name for himself in the comic book field, Vigil was able to secure enough financing from THQ to turn out what most of us would recognize as an actual video game.

I don’t want to go all Chicken Little on everyone and say the sky is falling, but it’s not out of the realm of possibility to expect that with the rise of Natal, whatever Sony is calling their waggle wand, and the continued Wii steamroller, the type of game that most of us know and love could become a very small piece of the overall gaming pie.

Don’t think this is possible?

Really?

Remember when Flight Sims were all the rage?

Yeah. Me either.

January 14, 2010

Relax, Have Some Dip.

Filed under: Uncategorized — feenwager @ 12:40 am

Or, how to stop worrying and love the game.

Most everyone remembers 2007, for a couple of reasons. First, it was only 2 years ago. Second, it was a mighty fine year for videogames. Halo 3, Super Mario Galaxy, Modern Warfare, Uncharted, The Orange Box, BioShock, Assassin’s Creed, Ratchet & Clank Future, Rock Band…the list is impressive in terms of both quantity and quality.

But you know what I remember about the games of 2007?

Very little.

In a valiant (vain?) attempt to keep up with the releases that year, and with a deathly fear of falling behind and not being able to be part of the ongoing conversation, I ripped through each and every one of those games like a fat kid at Old Country Buffet. It wasn’t pretty, and I can’t really say I enjoyed it as much as I should have.

That’s why this past year I made a conscious effort to slow down the pace, to play each game until I was done having fun with it, and not get hung up in what might be looming the following Tuesday. And you know what? It worked. I definitely played a few less games than in years past, but I got more value for my money, lost some of the sense of being overwhelmed, and most importantly I had more fun than I had before.

Looking back at the last few months of 2009, I noticed a few trends:

The average time I spent on a game was over 20 hours.

This is significant, because I don’t really spend much time playing multiplayer, so a game like Uncharted or Modern Warfare, while terrific games, aren’t great investments for me when you can blow through the solo campaign in around 8 hours. I got over 70 hours out of Dragon Age alone, completing two entire play-throughs, which is something I almost never used to do. I also completed two runs through Ratchet & Clank: A Crack In Time, and got over 25 hours out of that game.

I got a much higher percentage of Achievements/Trophies than I used to.

If you look at my Xbox Live or PSN accounts at games I have played in the past few years, you’ll see I’m definitely not an Achievement Whore. I would rarely go out of my way to get any Achievement or Trophy that you wouldn’t get simply in the natural course of finishing a game. This year, however, I got 96% on Ratchet, 90% on Assassin’s Creed 2, and it looks like I’ll be in at least the high 80′s when I finish Darksiders. I’m definitely still not an Achievement Whore, but I did learn that I could have some fun attempting a few of the challenges put out there by the developers, and extend the experience of a game I was enjoying. Compare Assassin’s Creed, which I plowed through without getting any non-essential Achievements, to the sequel, where I got just about everything you can get (I still have to go back and get all 100 feathers) and I can definitely tell you which game I enjoyed more.

The world did not end.

What was the reward for plowing through all of those games in previous years? Nothing, really. Maybe a small sense of pride that I was able to “keep up” with what everyone else was doing? That and a nickel will get you…err…whatever a nickel gets you these days.

This year, I was as involved as I’ve ever been, I only had to “lalalalanotlistening” once or twice as somebody discussed a pivotal moment in a game I hadn’t yet played, and life sort of just went on as usual. No self-imposed deadlines, no weekly trips to GameStop, and I really don’t feel like I missed out on anything. In fact, the only downside is that I’ve got a pretty healthy stack of games that I still want to play through, but that’s no big deal. I mean, the beginning of the year is where we all slow down and catch up on what we missed anyway, right? Because nothing worth playing ever comes out in the first part of the year, we all know that.

Right?

Thanks to the late, great George Carlin for the title of this post.

January 6, 2010

No Russian? No Thanks.

Filed under: Media, Rant, Uncategorized, videogames — Tags: , , , , , — feenwager @ 11:55 am

If you read my Most Asbestos Awards yesterday, you may have noticed one glaring omission from the list of games I played in 2009: Modern Warfare 2. No great conspiracy here, I simply hadn’t gotten around to playing it yet, so I couldn’t comment on it. I fired it up last night, and today I finally got to play the mission “No Russian”, which has apparently caused some controversy (although not as much as hoped, more on this in a moment) since the game’s release. While I’m sure folks more qualified than I have already weighed in on this subject, I felt compelled to have my say as well.

Spoiler Warning: If you haven’t played the game, and you don’t want to know what happens, stop reading now. There is no way to discuss this without just putting it all on the table.

Ok, here’s the deal for the folks who haven’t (or won’t) play it: In Modern Warfare 2′s fiction, you play an American Private 1st Class who has inexplicably been selected to go deep undercover to befriend a Russian warlord named Makarov who is apparently a Very Bad Man™. Your mission briefing says to “Follow Makarov’s Lead” and then the mission starts with elevator doors opening, and you find yourself with two other men and Makarov in an airport. Makarov turns to you and says, “Remember, no Russian” and then the four of you open fire on anyone and everyone in the terminal. As the player, you don’t actually have to shoot anyone, but you’re not allowed to do anything to stop it, and your only options are to join in the shooting, or simply walk through the level in first person and watch Makarov and his men kill what must be hundreds of innocent people, seemingly enjoying themselves. The mission then takes you outside where your group shoots its way out of the airport, killing scores of police and soldiers (where eventually you have to start shooting or the mission never seems to advance) before Makarov finally turns on you and kills your character, who he apparently was on to the whole time.

Obviously something about this mission (and the game itself) bugged me, since I’m taking the time to sit down and write about it…so what was it? I don’t find myself outraged, or disgusted, or any of the other buzzwords I would use if I were a guest on Fox News discussing Modern Warfare 2, but I was definitely bothered by it, and even borderline offended.

A brief side note about me using the word offended. If you know me at all, you should know it is nearly impossible to offend me in the traditional manner. Salty language, boobies on tv, using “black people like fried chicken” jokes to sell your product…none of this bothers me. I can understand why some people get upset over certain things, but as a rule it’s easier to just take it for what it is and move on.

So what exactly about No Russian did I find offensive? Three things, really. It’s manipulative, lazy, and irresponsible. I’d like to take each of these point by point to show you what I’m talking about.

It’s Manipulative

I don’t like being treated like I’m stupid. It makes me absolutely nuts, like calling Marty McFly “chicken”. When a story deliberately manipulates me to try to make me feel something, I take it as being treated like an idiot, and I’m immediately offended. There were a million more creative, effective ways Makarov could have been introduced into the story as a Very Bad Man™. They actually could have even used the same airport scenario, but simply framed it as a cut scene, used a news broadcast, or even military briefing to set the stage and explain why he’s the villain of the piece and the player should really want to end him. Making me participate in the slaughter (even if I didn’t fire a shot, which I didn’t) is simply trying too hard to be “edgy” and to make me feel something as a player, as well as being a blatant grab for headlines and controversy.

It’s Lazy

From a storytelling perspective, the entire scene makes no sense. I’m playing a Private that five minutes earlier was just showing Afghani militiamen which end of a rifle to hold, and now I’m being sent deep undercover on a mission to…do what exactly? It’s not really explained. Makarov is really, really evil and he must be stopped. So you’re going to be his best friend and get close to him so we can…what? Kill him? Ok. I’m standing next to the son of a bitch with a gun in my hand as he’s about to murder hundreds of innocent people. Howsabout if I put a bullet in his brain right then and there? If I’m not there to do that, why the crap have they sent me undercover in the first place? The entire scene is there simply so Makarov can kill your character (whom you’ve had all of 10 minutes to become invested in, so no big deal there), and prove that he’s not only a Very Bad Man™, but he’s also currently one step ahead of the good guys. Obviously, if you killed him before the airport sequence, the game would be very short…but that’s not my problem, is it? If Woody had gone straight to the police, blah blah…write a better story, guys.

It’s Irresponsible

I must be getting old, but I’m finding that “gritty realism” (which I’ve sort of poked holes in via the paragraph above) in my entertainment is getting less and less interesting to me. The world is a harsh place, and it seems to get harsher every day, at least if you want to believe the nightly news (which I don’t, but that’s a whole other story). Give me Night At The Museum over Green Zone any day of the week, and definitely give me Assassin’s Creed (which has plenty of killing, but it’s all set against a backdrop that is stylized and much brighter in tone) over Modern Warfare.

Setting a level of a videogame in an airport and asking a player to kill innocent civilians during a time when very real assholes are attempting to do the same thing on a regular basis is extremely irresponsible to me. I’m a huge proponent of free speech, and Infinity Ward has every right to make whatever kind of game they want, and to tell (however poorly) whatever kind of story they want. I just assumed that maybe if they’re smart enough to design a game that is technically pretty amazing, and is actually relatively fun to play as a shooting gallery, perhaps they would simply know better.

Here’s the deal: Modern Warfare 2 was going to sell millions of copies regardless. No Russian is the kind of transparent cry for attention that I would expect a lesser developer (or Rockstar) to try in order to get people to notice their marginal game. It doesn’t need to be there, it doesn’t add anything to the experience (hell, you’re given an option before you start the game to skip the mission entirely), and in the end I don’t think it even really generated that much controversy. I feel like Mass Effect got more media play for its silly sex scene than Modern Warfare got for an airport massacre, which I guess paints a picture of what is completely wrong with our values and our media, but that’s a rant for a different day.

January 5, 2010

In Which We Return To Talking About Videogames…

Filed under: Reviews, videogames — Tags: , , , , , , , — feenwager @ 8:32 am

To the 141st character…and beyond!

Man, that Twitter sure sucks the life out of blogging, doesn’t it? We definitely loves us some right now do we not? Why spend the time to sit down and craft some cogent thoughts and phrases when we can just cut it down to 3:05, as a wise man once said? Oh, well. Such is life in 2010, I guess…whatcha gonna do (brother) about it?

2010?

Wait…what?

Does that mean?

Yes. It does.

Well…crap. I guess that means I owe you some year end awards, doesn’t it? Ok. But only because you asked so nicely.

So let’s go, shall we? Allow me to present to you the 3rd (maybe, I’m too lazy to go check) Most Asbestos Of The Year Awards.

In case you’re new here, instead of giving out hackneyed “Game Of The Year” awards, I give some type of award to every game I’ve played in the past year, so this doesn’t necessarily mean that everything on this list came out in 2009, only that I played it in 2009, capeesh? And, we’re off…

Halo 3: ODST:

The Well, The Mini Firefly Reunion Was Nice…But The Game Left Me Cold Award.

The Elder Scrolls: Oblivion:

The I’ll Be On This List Every Year Because You’ll Just Keep Trying To Get Into It And Fail Award.

Monkey Island Special Edition:

The It’s A Great Game, But You’ve Bought It About 67 Times Now, Moron Award.

Sam & Max Save The World:

The I Really Wanted To Love It, But Something Was Missing Award

Fallout 3

The Best DLC Even Though It Totally Re-Wrote The Ending And I Hate Retro-Continuity Award. (Side note: I finally read Spider Man: Brand New Day this year. Wow. Just…wow. Incredibly, incredibly stupid. The only Spider Man story I can imagine that would be worse would be if they made the Vulture have a daughter and they called her the Vultress. But nobody would be dumb enough to do that, so I guess we’re fine, right?)

Ghostbusters:

The Not Funny Enough To Be A Movie, Not Fun Enough To Be A Game Award. (Shame, really. I wanted to like this one)

Eternal Sonata:

The I Got Zero Achievement Points, So Clearly I Knew This Wasn’t For Me In The 1st Five Minutes Award.

Banjo Kazooie – Nuts & Bolts:

The I Know Game Reviewers Retroactively Decided To Like This Game, But I Think They Were Right The First Time Award.

Infinite Undiscovery:

The See Eternal Sonata Award.

The Last Remnant:

The I Really Should Give Up On Japanese RPG’s Since They Obviously Don’t Want Me Playing Them Any Longer Award. (Special Achievement for biggest loser of a main character of the year. Either save the world or don’t, but stop fucking whining about it)

Arkanoid Live:

The Seriously, Dude…Stop Re-Buying This Game Award. (I do still dig Arkanoid, though.)

Peggle:

The Gabba Gabba, We Accept You, One Of Us Award. (The hours I’ve wasted on this game. Goddamned Peggle. Grumble, grumble)

Resident Evil 5:

The Hmmm….That Really Came Out This Year, Huh? Wow. You’d Think I’d Remember It More Considering It Was The Sequel To One Of My Favorite Games Of All Time Award.

Dash Of Destruction:

The Best Free 180 Achievement Points In A Game Based On Doritos Award.

Assassin’s Creed:

The I Know I’m Ridiculously Late To The Party, But The Sequel Looked Really Good Award.

Assassin’s Creed 2:

The I’m Glad I Plowed Through The First Game, Because This One Is SOOOO Much Better Award.

Also, the Calzone! Panna Cotta! Spaghetti! Award for ridiculous Italian accents from most of the characters. (Loved this game, by the way. More, please)

Shatter:

The My Favorite Little Game Featuring God-Awful Techno Music Award. (Go play it, it’s really cool. But bring your own tunes, unless um-chucka um-chucka is your sort of thing)

Trine:

The I’m Pretty Sure I’ll Like This If I Play It For More Than 5 Minutes Award.

Dragon Age:

The BioWare Still Gots It, Even If “It” Is Really Brown & A Little Rough Around The Edges Award. (I probably spent more hours on this game than any other this year)

Ratchet & Clank – A Crack In Time:

The We Don’t Need A Silly Award, This Is Still My Favorite Series Of All Time And This Game Was No Exception Award.

Also, the Fuck You Jonathan Blow, THIS Is How You Do Time-Based Puzzles. Braid Is Still Pretentious Claptrap Award.

Brutal Legend:

The Sigh Award. (I can’t talk about this game any more. Go listen to the latest Squadcast. I pretty much got it out of my system there)

InFamous:

The You Had Me Right Up Until The End There Award. (Seriously, who thought that the last hour of that game was a good idea? Anyone?)

Flower:

The Whoa, Dude…You’re Like The Wind And Stuff Award. (I think I needed to start taking drugs to fully get this game)

Batman – Arkham Asylum:

The I Liked This Game WAY Better Than The Completely Overrated Graphic Novel Of The Same Name Award. (Who knew a Batman game could be really, really good?)

MLB: 09 – The Show:

The I Liked This Game All The Way Up Until The Yankees Traded Me To Texas Award. (F you, Cashman. Prick.)

God Of War Collection:

The Oooh…Pretty Award. (This is how to do re-releases. Everyone pay attention, please)

Uncharted 2 – Among Thieves:

The Clowns Over My Death? Award for packing more fun into it than any other game I played this year.

I know I’m not giving a “Game Of The Year” Award, but if I were…let’s just say that a copy of Uncharted 2 needs to be in every developer’s office going forward. Really, if you’re going to rip anything off, start here.

That’s pretty much it. If I’ve left anything out, it’s because I either forgot or it just didn’t make my radar. Also, I left out portable games because I never seem to finish any of them. I did, however, finally finish Chrono Trigger on the DS this year so I’ve got that going for me…which is nice.

I’m stumped for how to wrap this up, so I’ll just remind you to listen to the Squadron Of Shame Squadcast, follow me on Twitter, and for God’s sake, put on some pants.

Peace, everybody.


September 19, 2009

What the hell is he waiting for?

Filed under: Uncategorized — feenwager @ 8:57 am

If you’ve been following along, you know I had hoped to have the CD done very shortly. Clearly that isn’t the case, and there are a few reasons why I’ve gone dark, the main one is to not bludgeon anyone over the head about a CD that you can’t buy anyway. Seems like basic marketing to me.

Here are the real reasons for the delay, though:

  • There was a 2-3 week break built into the schedule to accommodate my vacation, and to allow Pete (my recording / mixing partner) to move and break down / set up his studio.
  • Turns out doing everything yourself takes a long time. Who knew?
  • I ended up having to start one of the songs over from scratch due to some issues with the recording. I’ve pretty much known this all along, but was sort of avoiding dealing with it.
  • I simply lost momentum a little bit there. This is not a huge deal, and it’s mostly (mostly) due to the nature of a project like this. Some of these songs are years old, and even the newer ones were starting to grate on me after hearing them over and over for the better part of this year. It doesn’t mean I like them any less, I’m still very confident that this album is going to be really good, but I needed to get away from them for a little bit.
  • Lastly, and most importantly, I really want this CD to be as good as it can be. If that means that it takes a little longer to be released, so be it. It’s not like I’ve got a concert tour scheduled and I need to get out of the studio and on the road by November. I can take my time, but don’t worry…we’re not talking Axl Rose Chinese Democracy take my time here. I just want to cross some I’s and dot some T’s, and make sure that this sumbitch will be worthy of all the time I’ve spent working on it and talking about it.

Thanks for reading, and thanks for your support. It’ll be done soon, I promise.

July 7, 2009

Next step!

Filed under: Music, Uncategorized — feenwager @ 11:35 am

As promised, I’d like to let you know the title and also reveal the cover art for my upcoming CD.

The CD will be titled:

Jeff Parsons – Solo

And the cover art will look like this:

cover-2

I’d like to thank Christina Tullo for the use of her photograph. Visit her at Designedbreakdown.com to check out some of her work. It’s really great stuff.

Please note: this isn’t completely final, and the CD you eventually hold in your grubby lil’ hands may look slightly different. Offers may not be combined. Void where prohibited.

Next up? Finish recording (the last bit of writing was finished yesterday) and announce a release date for this sumbitch.

Thanks again for all of your support.

July 2, 2009

It Begins…

Filed under: Music — Tags: , , — feenwager @ 4:54 pm

A few words about my upcoming CD:

It’s coming soon. Well, depends on your definition of “soon” but it will definitely be out before the end of this year. Most likely late September/early October.

It’s not going to be called GarageBand Days. No real story here, just changing my mind. As soon as I have a title, you’ll be the 2nd or 3rd to know.

There will be 12 songs on it. Here is the final track listing:

  • Emilie Sighs
  • Leaving
  • Princess
  • Something Beautiful
  • Stay Famous
  • How Did We Get Here?
  • Facade
  • T.O.F.T.S.
  • Spinning My Wheels
  • Sunflower
  • Alright
  • Still Angry

It will be available on iTunes, Amazon, eMusic, & wherever else I can make it appear. It will also be available on good ol’ fashioned CD’s for those that prefer that sort of thing.

I’m determined to keep the album cost at $9.99, even for the physical CD.

There may or may not be a bonus track or two on the physical CD.

I think it’s pretty good.

Here’s the best place to check out the tunes before the release date. I’ll be keeping 3 or 4 up at a time for now.

http://www.reverbnation.com/jeffparsons

More info to come, including the title and actual date.

Thanks for listening.

June 2, 2009

E3, Sony Style

Filed under: E3, Rant, videogames — Tags: , , , , , , — feenwager @ 11:54 pm

The final press conference. Let’s see what Sony’s got to say.

•    Nice work taking a shot at your own press leaks, Jack.
•    Jack: we have a larger screen than the other press conferences. Also, look at my immense penis.
•    Facts and figures: boring.
•    According to Sony, inFamous is good. And popular. Thanks for the update.
•    You have no idea how happy I am that Uncharted has become a franchise. Uncharted 2: Among Thieves may be my most anticipated game this year.
•    Holy. Shit. UC2 looks fucking amazing.
•    Now MAG. The Massive Action Game…game.
•    Did they import seat fillers and pay them to applaud? People weren’t rooting as much at the other press conferences.
•    Here’s my prediction about MAG: within 2 weeks of release, 1% of the players will get so good that it won’t be fun for the other 99% anymore. Count on it.
•    Why did a bunch of guys just applaud a Lilac colored PSP?
•    It’s Kaz! Say something crazy, please!
•    PSP GO. Not replacing the PSP OG. Riiiiight.
•    Why do I have a feeling that this new media manager dealy for the PSP doesn’t work on Mac?
•    Sony is trying to really position the PSP as a music machine. Nope. Not gonna happen.
•    $249? Ummm…yeah…that’s probably not gonna go well.
•    Let me make this clear: I think the PSP is really cool. I don’t see a need for the PSP GO in my life.
•    I hope that next guy wasn’t warning of an impending attack by Godzilla, because I skipped it the minute Grand Turismo’s logo showed up.
•    Hideo “Whore” Kojima just announced another Metal Gear game I won’t be playing. Zabadoo!
•    We need a montage! Everything’s better in a montage! Well, I guess I better go charge up my PSP.
•    Playstation Home: No. Really. It’s working exactly how we’d hoped. Really. Please use it. C’mon! No? Ok. Sorry to bother you.
•    Another montage? Jeez, Sony…slow it down a bit.
•    Agent: exclusive PS3 game from Rockstar set in the 1970’s? Huh, how about that?
•    Assassin’s Creed 2 gameplay footage. Looks cool. It also looks like it’s going to be hard not to beat the snot out of everyone at what looks like a giant Ren-Faire.
•    More FFXIII. We get it. It’s good. We’re all going to buy it. Move on.
•    And here’s why it’s not finished…Final Fantasy XIV. An MMO…exclusive to the PS3. Well, that’s certainly a big announcement. Gotta say I simply don’t care. I happily skipped FFXI, and I’ll most likely never play this one.
•    And here’s Sony’s magic motion controller. Whatever. Wake me up when there are games that are worth playing with these things.
•    ModNation Racers? Not doing anything for me, guys.
•    The Last Guardian: anyone else getting a Neverending Story vibe here? Or perhaps Pete’s Dragon? Certainly looks cool.
•    More Gran Turismo. More not caring.
•    God Of War III: Looks awesome, but you already knew that, didn’t you?

Overall, I think the exclusives for Sony look pretty great. I still think Microsoft has them beat with multi-platform games based on Xbox Live, Achievements, Community, and a better controller. That doesn’t bode well for the PS3 emerging as the “victor” but I think it should enable it to carve out a large enough niche to remain relevant.
Oh, yeah…I guess the PS3 Slim wasn’t the real deal? Or maybe that was never intended to be an E3 announcement? No price drop either, that seems a bit odd. Although, they can’t really go to $299 on the PS3 when the PSP GO is $249.

PS: Would it have killed you to show some Ratchet? Humbug.

It’s-a Me, E3!

Filed under: E3, Rant, videogames — Tags: , , , , , — feenwager @ 12:40 pm

Just watched the Nintendo Press Conference, typing (and eating a sausage sandwich) as I did.

And…Go:

•    Cammie Again? Not a good start
•    Oof…business speak. Category. Analyze. Innovation. Bleh.
•    Nice…going right to the Mario well…and this is…a bunch of games I’ve seen already…
•    New Super Mario Bros. for Wii? I’m listening…
•    Looks a bit like Little Big Mario. I think I’d play this. I wonder if there’s online without friend codes.
•    They’re not mentioning online…hmm…I wonder if they didn’t put it in.
•    Wii Fit Plus. Minus…me.
•    Reggie! Reggie! Reggie! Actually I think he’s kind of a tool. It’s just fun to say that.
•    Wii Motion Plus nonsense. Do not care.
•    Wii Sports Resort: Filled with many minigames my dad will enjoy for 20 minutes when he visits.
•    Final Fantasy Crystal Bearers Hmm…I can’t really tell what this is all about. Looks sort of like Final Zelda. I’m intrigued.
•    Kingdom Hearts DS? So it’s a remake? No thanks.
•    Mario & Luigi RPG. Sold.
•    Golden Sun DS? No shit, really? This bears checking out. The music has a very SNES quality to it, and I mean that in a good way.
•    Hi. I’m James Patterson. Next.
•    C.O.P. doesn’t look like my kind of day.
•    Blah blah blah “designing outfits” Badoop Badoop Badooop.
•    We are Nintendo. We’ve sold many DS systems.
•    Mario Vs. Donkey Kong DSiWare game on Monday. Crowd goes mild.
•    Haven’t every played a Wario Ware game. Don’t intend to start now.
•    We are Nintendo. We’ve sold many Wii Systems.
•    Super Frakkin Mario Galaxy 2???!!!! All is forgiven, Nintendo. Muah!
•    The Conduit actually looks pretty great. This June? Hmm…pending reviews, I may have to check that out.
•    Resident Evil: Darkside Chronicles. The first Wii deal was pretty good, this looks pretty good as well. Nice job, Capcom.
•    Dead Space Extraction: well…shit. That looks pretty great. Not the same as the original, but I actually sort of like rail shooters.
•    New, edgy game from Nintendo? More Geist? I keed, I keed.
•    This looks…Japanese.
•    3rd person Metroid? Wait…that was just 1st person. I’m so confuzzled.
•    Metroid: Other M? Awful name. Game looks pretty decent. 2010? Booooo.

OK…I’d give Nintendo a solid ‘B’. It certainly beats them telling me to take a hike last year. Welcome back, Me Caring About Nintendo.

Ubi Dooby Doo

Filed under: E3, Rant, videogames — feenwager @ 9:11 am

Sorry, couldn’t resist.

On to Ubisoft:

•    You sir, are dying out there. Nobody wants to hear jokes. At least, not these particular pieces of poop.
•    U Play seems dopey, only with a French accent.
•    Ubisoft: Very impressed with themselves. 15 minutes in, and they haven’t shown a second of game footage.
•    Hey! It’s James Cameron Crowe! Haircut, sir. Haircut. Also…SHOW THE FUCKING GAME.
•    Red Steel 2: it certainly looks better than the first one, but that’s not setting the bar very high.
•    Pele, with a children’s game. He’s speaking Soccer, so they needed to bring out a translator for Americans. Yawn.
•    Splinter Cell: Jack Bauer looks neat, but we saw this earlier in the day.
•    I’m not sure what Ruse is all about, but that commercial was crap.
•    Comedian guy: Still not happening.
•    And now a quick “badoop badoop badoop” as we skip the casual game portion of our show.
•    Rabbids: Go Home. More mini-games. I’m sure there’s a few minutes of fun in there, if you like that kind of thing.
•    Turtles? Looks decent enough, not sure if I’m 15 enough to care too much.
•    No More Heroes 2: No, thank you.
•    Finally, the game people wanted to see: Assassin’s Creed 2. It gets huge points just for the setting, I can’t think of any other DaVinci themed games. No gameplay, but the cinematic certainly seems well done.
UbiSoft: Weaksauce. You guys got your heads handed to you by EA today.

Also, I saw the preview of Alpha Protocol. This was a game I had written off, but I’m now going to pay more attention. It certainly looks like it could be very entertaining.
Thus endeth my thoughts of Day 1 of E3 via my TV. Back tomorrow with whatever else catches my interest.

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